It's rush hour time out here on the west coast (actually there's almost always traffic in Seattle). Nothing puts you in a great mood like sitting in traffic on a Friday afternoon. It's the perfect way to begin a weekend, in my opinion.
It starts like this: here you are driving along, making great time, as you head home from a long week at work. Then you see it. Yeah, up there, about a half mile in front of you. Brake lights. You know the ones I'm talking about. They're are the ones you start to see right after you pass the last exit that would lead you to the alternate route home. You're stuck now. Here you are in the midst of all the other poor saps trying to make it home. You try to maintain your cool as you listen to the irritating commercials on the radio and watch the guy next to you, who has been picking his nose for the last five minutes. You start to wonder "what is causing all this traffic?" There must be an accident up ahead that has lanes blocked. Firetrucks, ambulances, state patrol, flashing lights- the whole bit...
Finally you see it. Traffic is starting to break up and move. You figure any moment you'll see the carnage of twisted metal and bodies on the highway. You reach the spot where the backup begins AND... Nothing. Nope, not a damn thing. What the Hell? My theory? Government Paid Brakers (GPB) The GPB is someone "they" send out just to cause traffic problems. They get out in front of a pack of cars and slowly begin to brake. The effect dominos right down the line causing a traffic backup. Elle asked me why the government would send out the GPBs. Easy. If people are stuck in traffic, they sit there idling and use up more gas. More gas sales equals more tax revenue for the state (especially WA since we have the 10th highest gas tax in the country). Also cars moving at slower speeds cause less wear on the highway and therefore less repairs. It's a racket I tell you. Watch for them next time you're out the freeway and you'll see them. It's the a-hole in front of you in the non-description sedan that's braking for no good reason.

Labels: gov't dumbness

I blame this stupidity on the little gnomes inside the computer that randomly screw things up. Why is it that computer glitches that affect your work always happen when you're on vacation? All I wanted was a nice relaxing 4 day weekend and to come back to work refreshed. The 4 day weekend happened OK, but I came back to work to find sheer bedlam. Evidently the computer gnomes decided it would be fun to cause a glitch that would send out a bunch of emails and CC me on all of them. Not only did it copy me on over 500 emails, but a bunch of these emails went to agents telling them they didn't complete some computer based training and therefore would not be paid for their sales. Nothing will panic a commissioned salesperson faster than news that commissions have been affected. So here I thought I just might be able to get some work done today but instead I spent most of the day putting out fires. I am so glad that computers make our lives easier. Oh wait, half the time they just create more work. I think computers are conspiring against me and my plot for (slow) world domination.

Labels: rants